Happiness…something that most people want yet remains a misunderstand concept to many people. True happiness is something that (despite what subconsciously many of us believe) can’t be found in that “thing” we really want to buy…that milestone we’ve been aiming for…or something else that’s out there.
Unfortunately, many people don’t realize that happiness is like a plant. You need to cultivate it, nurture it and it will grow. The other important aspect to remember is that it’s normal for your level of happiness to vary. BUT to a certain extent, you can manage how happy you are.
Once you understand that happiness is something you can (to a point) manage, you can learn learn the tools and techniques to help cultivate a positive mindset and ultimately, true happiness.
Pay Attention To Your Thoughts
Your thoughts create your reality. Your mind is more powerful than you know.
Neale Donald Walsch
Your thoughts and perceptions help to create your reality. So if you focus on the negative, then you’ll notice more and more negative things. If you compare yourself to others, you’ll likely end up unhappy. No matter how much money you have, how fancy you home is, and so on…there’s always someone who has “more”. Despite what some people believe, the grass is not always greener and sometimes, that grass is fake! This leads to the question…how do you actually work on thoughts? Here are a few questions to ask yourself….
What are the facts/what actually happened?
When you come from a factual point of view, it takes a lot of the story and drama out of the circumstances.
What kind of story am I creating around it?
Are you creating a story that paints you a certain way that serves you? For example, is the person a bully with you as a victim? Maybe that IS true. The point, is that you need to be honest with yourself.
What is the theme or tone of your “inner chatter”?
We all have a inner dialog or “chatter” but we often tune it out. Try to pay attention to the tone of your chatter…is it positive or negative?
Developing Your Own Happiness
Happiness depends upon ourselves.
Aristotle
- Happiness is an inside job and does not stem from outer sources – once you recognize that we are all walking around led by the nose by our subconscious beliefs and stories, it gets easier to create new stories. If you have a relative, for example, who always seems miserable, do you internalize that? Once you recognize that you don’t have control over (nor are you responsible for) another human being’s faults, traits, and personality….you have begun to lay the foundation for inner happiness.
- Learning the happiness habit – Gratitude is one of the most important aspects of cultivating happiness. Check out this amazing article to learn how developing a gratitude habit can actually impact your brain for the better!
- Being present in the moment – Take a moment to realize that where you are right now in this moment will never come your way again. Do you realize how important and powerful this is? You won’t ever get this moment back again. This is why it’s important to remember to take time to stop and be present to what is right in front of you.
- Another great happiness technique is to set goals that are small and achieve them. Take small action steps outside your comfort zone and you will begin to build confidence.
- It’s ok to feel bad (for a bit) – When you want to feel badly about a certain situation in your life, don’t let anyone tell you it’s not okay. Go ahead and feel bad BUT the secret is not to dwell in the unhappiness. .
- Be giving – Giving back has enormous benefits to the person receiving the help but we also benefit as chemicals in our brain like dopamine, are released.
- Self-love and self-care –self-care and self-love are important practices to cultivate. Click here if you need ideas on how to develop a self-care habit?
Finally, aim for balance….Lack of sleep, too much stress, too much sleep or even too much overeating can impact our ability to cultivate happiness. Work towards keeping yourself nourished, hydrated, well-rested, social and responsible and your inner world will be in balance, even when it seems your outer world is temporarily spinning out of control.
Happiness is your own creation. What will you craft – a world of chaos or a world of peace, a boat always ready to capsize or a peaceful easy journey on a serene lake with a few ripples here and there?